Honesty

I am a true believer of the phrase "Honesty is the best policy". 

What? How shocking!

I hear you guys. It is shocking, and you guys will be even more shocked to find that I think this applies in every scenario. Even if it comes to you having to comment on your friend's ukulele prowess, where in truth there was not much prowess displayed during your friend's performance. Even if it comes to informing mom about who you are going out with, despite your mom not liking the particular friend(s) whom you are heading out with. I don't think lying our way out of difficult situations like these is the best solution. Tell the truth, or at least the part that you can afford to tell.

Let's come back to the first example. Your friend just played a song on the ukulele, and wants to know your opinion on how well they sounded. Unfortunately for you, if truth be told, your friend did not sound that good on the ukulele and could do with more practice. But still, there's the struggle to not hurt your friend's feelings as well, by telling them that they did not sound very good. I'm not saying you should be all blunt and brutally honest and say "Dude you sounded just terrible!". However, I don't think lying and saying they sounded good after all will solve the problem. Here is the reason why. Let's assume you are afraid to tell the truth and tell your friend that they sounded splendid on the ukulele. Your friend is emboldened by this praise and goes on to perform to some other people who aren't exactly the most tactful people around. As a result, they mock your friend's playing of the ukulele and your friend ends up hurt and broken. Painful, isn't it? Whereas, if you tactfully tell your friend something along the lines of "Some of it was pretty good, but I think with just a little practice, you'll be brilliant! :)" then your friend will practice more and improve themselves before performing in front of people, and hence may not have to face such hurtful comments.

There are plenty of examples I wanted to cover but honestly I don't think you guys will be thrilled to see an entire novella squeezed into a blog post so I'll try and wrap up :) Basically, do not ever think lying will get you out of trouble because it doesn't. Seriously. There is a saying that "telling one lie leads to more lies" and honestly I have seen it come true in my life before. Even if it is something unpleasant, just say it already! Don't be all two-faced and act all sugar and spice to people you do not like, and then talk bad stuff about them behind their backs :( I mean if you have a problem with someone, go take it out on the person who is actually being a problem to you instead of being cowardly and childish by just talking rumours and acting sad like you cannot do anything about it. The truth is that usually, there IS something you can do about any problem you face. You just have to be brave and face your problems head-on instead of hiding and inadvertently dropping hints with your ridiculous double-sided behaviour. Like, you ain't no double-sided tape to have a necessity to have two sides to you. Just say what you really think, even if it isn't very nice. People will (by and by) appreciate knowing what you really think, instead of having to try and see through your little facade.

If you didn't have the stamina to read this entire post, just have a look at the two words below:

BE REAL.

Gender Inequality and Mansplaining

I think it is safe to say one thing: that men believe they are far superior to women in many ways.

It is my opinion that the above statement is not entirely correct. Sure, we do have man-dominated industries, but I think in many ways women have risen and proven that they are equal, if not superior, to men. 

Think Margaret Thatcher, the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Think J K Rowling, who was the first person to become a $USD billionaire from writing books. Think Emma Watson, who started the HeForShe campaign to encourage men and boys to advocate gender equality at the age of 24. 

I feel that many societies tend to typically credit men for successes and blame women for failures. In societies where male babies are much preferred over female babies, people typically blame women for giving birth to a girl instead. Where is the logic here, guys? Let's just get scientific for a moment. Technically, when you compare sex chromosomes, it is a MALE who has one "X" chromosome and one "Y" chromosome, while a female has two "X" chromosomes. Hence, a female's DNA does not affect the gender of the child born, instead, it is the male's DNA which offers the variation in the child's gender. So why blame (and even punish) a woman for producing a child of the "wrong" gender when the variation is caused by a man in the first place?

Why is it when education opportunities are limited, the boys in the family get prioritised and sent to school first while girls are kept away from school? Why is it that in certain societies, if a husband dies, his wife is also burnt along with his dead body, while if a wife dies, the husband can simply remarry? Why is it that women are often blamed for becoming rape victims regardless of the (usually male) rapist's behaviour? Why is it usually tougher for a woman to get a rank promotion at her workplace? Why is it tougher for a woman to earn a salary equal to her male counterparts? Why does the world put down women so easily? Or rather, why are people allowed to put down women so easily? 

I have captioned the post "Gender Inequality and Mansplaining" for a reason. Above, I believe I have rambled long enough about gender inequality. Now I'll touch on the mansplaining. What IS mansplaining, you may ask. I know, your Oxford dictionary on your dusty bookshelf may not have the word listed, but mansplaining is defined as "to explain something to someone, typically a man to woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronising". This usually refers to a scenario where a man, who considers himself as more knowledgable than a woman simply because he is a man, talks down/over a woman trying to make a (usually valid) point about something. Sounds familiar? For some of you, it could be dad trying to win an argument/discussion with mom about something, where he resorts to using his masculinity to win the battle. For others, it could be your male boss trying to convince you that your male colleague is better suited for promotion, despite you being more qualified, hardworking and punctual than he. And of course, most of us would have watched Tiana (from Disney's Princess and the Frog) being "mansplained" to by the Fenner brothers as to why she should give up on buying her restaurant despite having the necessary money to buy it.

I am not here to hate on men and boys for all this gender inequality. I am here to encourage you guys to learn from these lessons of the past and work towards a brighter future. Fellas, try not to use the typical and much-overrated "I am better/stronger/smarter/etc because I am a man" excuse to win every argument. Instead, try and embrace your other positive characteristics! I'm quite certain that there's more to each of you than just being a man, right? :) You guys could have great attitudes, brilliant brains, amazing capabilities which came about because of who YOU are; because of your personalities. All this has nothing to do with being a man. It comes from within.

Ladies, keep your heads held up high! Next time someone tries to "mansplain" something to you, do not allow yourself to be convinced blindly and put your foot down! Have faith that you CAN achieve, because as of today, a generous number of women have proved to the world (and to themselves) that they are capable of great things. And so are you! NEVER give up in the face of gender-bias which is against your favour, but keep fighting until you get what you deserve. You are AMAZING!  You are talented, you are brilliant, and you have the potential to do something great and prove wrong everyone who ever doubted you!

Thanks for reading my first "original" post guys! :)

(Well the first two belong to me as well but they kind of appeared in my private instagram first?? Hehe.)

Post-Secondary vs Pre-University: Is one better than the other by default?

So around June this year, I attended a camp which was attended by JC, MI, polytechnic and and ITE students. I have always been somewhat aware of the divide which exists between the various types of institutions. However, never have I seen more clearly for myself the obvious division between JC/MI students and polytechnic/ITE students than during this short camp, which lasted a mere three days. 

Just because someone attends a JC, it does not mean that they are better than a polytechnic/ITE student. If you are a JC student, for all you know, that polytechnic/ITE student may be more certain about their future than you. They might be learning more about something they love than you are. 

So guys, if you study in a JC, do not just shun polytechnic/ITE students without talking to them and getting to know them as people. I know your parents warned you about the bad kids in polytechnics/ITEs but believe me there are plenty of good (and smart) kids there as well :) 

This whole post came about mainly because of one thing that bothered me: that the only JC kids who spoke to me first were mostly those who knew me before I began attending a polytechnic.

(adapted from my post on instagram via @thelegitzakkie)

JC vs Polytechnic: Is one more stressful than the other?

I have been saying this practically all the time since I set foot into a polytechnic, but I shall say it again. I have heard many people imply that, in their opinion, studying in a polytechnic is much less stressful than studying in a junior college. Many people have made statements like "is it too late to change to a polytechnic" or "I wish I had opted for a polytechnic because JC is turning out to be very stressful". 

And I think something is wrong here if any of you guys out there believe that switching to a polytechnic will drastically reduce your stress levels. Studying in a polytechnic isn't the equivalent of wonderland, guys. Polytechnics provide you with an education as well. Polytechnics will stress you out as well - in their own way. There will be assignments flooding in throughout the course of the semester. There will be tests and exams. And best of all, if you do not do very well for any of your semesters, those bad grades will count towards your cumulative GPAs. This in comparison to JC, is actually much more stressful because in JC, if you do badly for any tests/exams prior to A-levels, it does not affect your A-level grade which universities will look at when considering you as a potential student.

Basically, I am here to let you guys know that polytechnics aren't the appropriate solution for you if you are seeking a solution for stress. Polytechnics are pretty stressful as well, as we have seen earlier (and as I see for myself every week in school). However, if you are concerned that by going to JC, you are missing out on following your passion, a polytechnic just might be your solution :) 

This is just to clarify matters for those of you guys who thought that polytechnics are not particularly stressful.

(adapted from my post on instagram via @thelegitzakkie)