Good Enough?

"We underestimate ourselves although we are stardust," Lakshmi said.

This one line was the inspiration behind this post.

I'm sure many of you reading this blog may have wondered. You may have wondered things like "Am I smart enough?" "Am I skinny enough?" "Am I strong enough?" "Am I witty enough?". Basically, we have all wondered, at some point, whether what we have to offer was good enough. Whether we were good enough.

I'm also sure many of you would have felt, no, you weren't good enough. You weren't smart enough to get the grades your parents yearned to see in your report book. You weren't pretty enough to be Instagram-famous. Some of you, may have even contemplated ending this life where basically, nothing you did was good enough for anyone.

But I'm here to tell you that you are good enough. You are good enough in your own unique way. We all have some special area that we are talented at. An area where we are appreciated. Something we're so good at, people will miss us if they lose us.

This thing that you're good at. It doesn't need to be something as brilliant or complicated as rocket science. It doesn't even need to be as tangible as money or good looks. It can be something as simple as giving great hugs. Or having a good sense of style when pairing clothes. Or being able to randomly spout your own lyrics to an existing song. All that matters is that you IDENTIFY this thing you're good at and appreciate yourself. 

I can tell you, as long as you've done your best (or at least tried to), the people who matter will always believe you are good enough. Your parents will believe that your exam results are good enough if they've seen and realised that you did do your best. The people around you will realise that you're witty enough if they've seen your remarks progress from saltless to saltily witty ;)

So don't go around feeling like you aren't good enough, just because other people make you feel that way! Just remember your strength and take pride in it, and do your best in all that you do.

My point is?

Just give everything you do your 100%, and you'll be good enough :)

Wait a minute guys, I just realised this post isn't over yet.

You saw the quote which inspired this post at the beginning of this entry, but I've yet to tell you how it refers back to what I'm trying to say.

Basically, by saying "I'm not good enough", you are underestimating your worth, and essentially, yourselves. We are all stardust and sparkle in our own unique ways, with our individual talents and specialities :)

I really hope this post made you people feel like you're good enough hehe :)

அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் // Azhagiya Tamizh Magal : A Review

அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் // Azhagiya Tamizh Magal (ATM)

Literally translated, அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் means "beautiful Tamil daughter".

When this drama was first aired on Vasantham, it aired plenty of skeptical reactions even among the most devoted Vasantham (drama) fans. The concept, being fairly abstract and hence different from stereotypical dramas, was initially tough for us as audience to grasp. However, after watching the series for the first couple of weeks and grasping the concept of the drama, many of us viewers were left enthralled and hungry for more insight into the life of the 5 "beautiful Tamil daughters" (the 5 main protagonists of this drama).

For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் encompasses the lives of 5 young ladies all leading seemingly unrelated lives. Poornima is a mother of two children, one working hard for his A-Levels, and the other working hard for her O'Levels. Gauthami is a media queen who is in the "peak" of her exciting media career. Raevathy is a Tamil journalist who has refused love in the form of marriage due to hurting from a breach of trust which occurred several years ago. Radhika is a rich young woman who is not-so-happily married because she is seemingly unable to let go of her ego when dealing with her housekeeper, and asa result constantly finds fault with her. Amala is a loving housewife, fascinated with cooking and cuisine, who finds herself unappreciated by her husband, who is far more intrigued by poetry, politics and the Tamil language.

5 young ladies leading 5 drastically different lives. I wondered why all 5 of them had to be collectively classified as "beautiful Tamil daughters", when I could not see any similarity connecting the 5 of them together, other than their age range.

But then, the drama charmingly drew all 5 protagonists together in a most unexpected, unforeseen manner: they all ended up volunteering at the same old folks' home. To give credit to those who created this story, this was all done in an amazingly gradual, natural and elegant fashion which actually seemed like a likely scenario which could occur in real life. After all, it is these relatable moments that we drama lovers live for, right?

As the drama drew to a close, it occurred to me that, despite the initial difficulty we all faced with trying to keep up with 5 separate subplots, the struggle and attention was well worth it.

Why so?

In showcasing 5 different young women and their lives, this drama was able to highlight several relevant problems faced by Indian Singaporeans (the target audience, after all!). In this 45-episode drama, we were able to learn about the struggles faced by children with a mother who expects nothing below perfect grades, the battle faced by a blooming star diagnosed with cancer whilst at the peak of her career, a single woman's hesitancy to fall in love after suffering from one heartbreak, the pandemonium which ensues when an employer does not show enough attention to her employee, and the hardships faced by a loving wife whose husband fails to understand her feelings. 5 key problems which are faced here in Singapore form the crux of this story, and reach out to those who are affected while enlightening those who were in the dark.

The 5 main stories running in this drama were all very engaging and made us keep up eagerly with the story, but to me, what made this particular drama really stand out was the way this drama ended. Prior to ATM, I have watched dramas which either had tragic endings or rushed, half-hearted endings. However, ATM's finale and ending in general was very beautifully and elegantly packaged. It was the difference between receiving a half-heartedly wrapped, untidy, wrapper-falling-apart present and receiving a stylishly wrapped, tastefully decorated present. ATM was the equivalent of the latter; the 5 subplots each had a beautifully delightful ending which was delicately crafted such that all dangling ends were neatly tied up. Also, it gave me great pleasure to see all 5 women's stories being subtly braided together at the very ending by another event which drew all 5 women and their families together. What really worked for me was that the sequence of events which led up to the end of ATM were, by and large, mostly realistic and likely to occur in real life, hence appearing natural and relatable to us viewers. Every relatable moment in this drama (and there were plenty) forged a bond between the characters portrayed and the viewers watching their stories unfold. Basically, I was undeniably satisfied and delighted with the way the story of ATM gracefully came to a close.

I may be unavoidably biased in displaying my attachment to this drama, however, I am aware that this drama (like any other production ever made on Earth) had its shortcomings. As mentioned earlier, this drama had many a relatable moment. However, there were small, unrealistic happenings which popped up occasionally. Personally, I found it unrealistic that Raevathy's mother had sustained a coma and died from it from a fall in Campbell Lane. It was a little too sudden and odd for me. And I guess for viewers who have little to no tolerance for crying scenes, the number of scenes with Gauthami breaking down may have been too many. And so on. However, the story was so beautifully developed, with many fine details being attended to, that the positives significantly outnumbered the negatives, and I was basically left feeling passionately addicted to ATM, so much so that I found myself rushing home after school to make it home in time to catch the season finale while it aired on Vasantham, even though I always knew it would come up on Toggle if I missed it. But then I was so in love with ATM that I couldn't bear to.

The cast of ATM also deserve their fair share of praise and glory too! I knew the 5 protagonists were all very talented actors but in this drama they have all given splendid performances. Bad-tempered mother with impossibly high expectations, severely broken cancer patient, conflicted unmarried woman, hot-tempered employer, misunderstood housewife: they were all amazingly and beautifully portrayed! Most, if not all of the 5 leading ladies, have had to act difficult scenes which they had most likely never encountered in real life prior to ATM, and they have done commendably well in those scenes. Well done! Not to neglect the supporting cast though! There were several talented actors among the supporting cast who performed admirably as well, occasionally outshining the protagonists. :)  

All in all, watching அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் truly evoked many different feelings in me while I watched the 5 stories unfold, from peals of ecstatic laughter, to tears of empathy, to fuming anger at injustice. Watching அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் was a truly memorable experience, and the story is one which will stay close to my heart. Thank you Vasantham, and thank you creators of அழகிய தமிழ் மகள் for the beautiful drama with its especially beautiful ending. ❤️ 

A Woman's Confidence in Herself

So I happened to be going through the different Snapchat channels today, and I came across this quote which really made me reflect.

To people who are very confident about themselves, this quote may come as a surprise. If any of you guys belong in that happy category, congratulations to you :) However, I'm sure most of us can relate to the quote above. While people do pass compliments very often, I feel like not everyone receiving those compliments know how to react to them. I myself have had those sort of moments, where I either stammer out a "thank you" which sounds half-hearted due to my nervousness, or I end up asking "really?" in disbelief, as if I think that the entire world is out to be sarcastic with me.

The question is, WHY do we get nervous when, after all, people complimenting us (genuinely anyway) are saying nice things about us? It should be something to feel happy about, in fact.

The answer to that bewildering question is quite simple. We're all afraid to wholeheartedly accept compliments or agree with them for fear of being viewed as vain or conceited. And who can blame us? Most of us tend to have a tendency to consider people to be a little bit "full of themselves" when they accept compliments happily. I myself am guilty of that too.

So how do we solve this problem? How do we accept compliments wholeheartedly and manage to not look conceited at the same time?

It all really lies in how we go about accepting the compliments, really. If you're going be all Mean Girl-y and say "I know I am! :D" with a proud smirk on your face when complimented, then don't be surprised if you get snubbed for being vain. I think the easiest way to accept compliments is to say "Thank You! :)" or some variation of that with a genuine smile. Show people that you appreciate their compliment! If you can, toss a compliment back to whoever compliments you too! That would really work in showing people that you care about other people and that basically you're not "full of yourself".

There's actually another interesting question to consider. Why reply to compliments anyway? If we're going to get judged for how we reply, then why bother replying? It doesn't matter.

Or does it?

To be honest, I think it is pretty important to reply to a compliment. After all, people just genuinely praised you / said something nice about you. And sometimes they do so with some serious feels, or just really do mean the compliment and want you to feel happy. Some of our quieter friends who get nervous speaking out in front of a big group of people might have even crept out of their comfort zone just to pay you that compliment. If that's the case, they might feel hurt, unappreciated or even offended (or some combination of these) when you don't show that you appreciate the compliment they just paid you.

If you are really tired / your mouth is full of food / you just can't talk or something, just give a bright, genuine smile to whoever compliments you. They'll understand. :)

Basically, to sum everything up, there's no need to feel guilty whenever people praise you for being intelligent / talented / beautiful / you :) Feel free to express your gratitude & appreciation, and don't hesitate to return the compliment when you can! :)

Have a great day guys! :)

Education: The True Takeaway

Here in Singapore, we are made to chase good grades for the vast majority of our schooling years.

In lower primary, we chased good grades to ensure that when it was time for banding (sorting into classes based on academic results), we would get into a "good class". In upper primary, we chased good grades to prepare for the PSLE, so that we could get good results and go off to a "good school".

In secondary school, we chased good grades so that we would have proper preparation to get "good results" in the 'N' Levels and 'O' Levels. Also in secondary school, we chased after a "good CCA grade" so that we would have a substantial testimonial and all when we graduated. And so on and so forth.

Schools were opened so that people may learn new skills and absorb knowledge which would aid them in later life. At least, I believe that was the initial motivation for schools being started in the first place. But in our chase for "good grades", "good schools" and "good CCA grades", how many of us actually internalise what we learn in school and take it away with us when we leave school?

There is no use in flawlessly memorising your Biology textbook if, 2 years down the road, you can't explain to your loved ones why their bodies function the way they do. There is no use in memorising an entire Literature text + the "ideal" explanations and analysis if, a few years later, you can't look at the situation around you and analyse why people are behaving the way they do. 

Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that there's no POINT in just focusing on getting your 'A's, 'A+'s and 'A1's. Of course, these good grades are very important when it comes to advancing to the next level of education, and as indicators of how well you seem to understand a subject. However, when you really sit down and think about it, your employers aren't going to give you that job just because you're a straight A student. Your future spouse isn't going to marry you just because every grade in your report book is an A1. The grades won't matter once you're done with school. 

Then what DOES matter?

What really matters, my dear humans, is whether we know how to apply what we've learnt in school, into the situations we face in our lives. It's whether you know how to explain to your cousin and his wife that it's perfectly normal for their son to have O+ blood while both of them have B+ blood running through their veins. It's whether you know how to analyse the articles and advertisements you come across; whether you can read between the lines to see what they really mean. It's whether you can speak your mother tongue well even though you have no more mother tongue lessons to go to. 

Application!!! Sounds simple but really, it is way more important than we all realise while we're chasing "good grades" like crazy people.

So take a deep breath, close your eyes, and contemplate how beautiful and complete your life would be if only you allowed your brain to embrace whatever you need to learn, instead of cramming content into your head with little understanding. Imagine how blessed you would feel if you could master the art of applying everything you've learnt in school (as seemingly irrelevant as some of the subjects may be) into your life after school. Imagine :) And work towards achieving that :) 

I did not write this post with the intent to convince anybody that getting good grades is not important. Go on chasing them good grades :) But now, remember that chasing good grades should never be your one and only obsession in school (or life, for that matter) and that sometimes its important to take a step back, make sure you understand what you're learning, and also *side note* make sure you don't lose your sense of morals and ethics in your chase for good grades. It never pays to give up on things like morals and ethics altogether. After all, we're human. We need them to help us get around, and get through life :) #mannersmatter

*P.S.: You may wonder why I did not explain further on the morals and ethics, but that would make this post too long for most busy souls :) I don't mind adding on though! Maybe after a while I'll either edit this post / write a whole new post (depending on the length).

Youth

What is YOUTH?

To some people, youth is 18 years of age, doomzi-ing the nights away in a club, getting high on drinks and stuff, and basically living the high life.

To other people, youth is having a voice not yet broken; a childhood not yet shattered, and adulthood not yet within reach.

What is youth to me?

To me, youth is believing that age is truly just a number which does not define us as people belonging to varying levels in society.

Youth is feeling blithe and cheerful always, and showing it in everything we do, from how we smile to how we speak :)

Youth is not in trying to blend in with the 18-year-olds, but instead in actually being one of them - at heart :)

Youth is being able to see the beauty and joy in the little things that matter :)

Youth is understanding that value does not lie in the years in our life, but in the life in our years instead :)

My perception of youth in this manner was shaped to a large extent by one of my lecturers (although he doesn't realise hehe). He's always smiling and cheerful, and naturally speaks using words that we use too, and treats us all like we're equals. No, he isn't a fresh graduate in his early 20s. He's actually old enough to be a father to children, the eldest of whom might possibly be approaching their 20s. But it's the little things that made me feel as though there's plenty of youth in him; the way he says a cheery, "Why late lah brother?" instead of a fierce "Why are you late?" to someone who enters class late; the way the word "legit" falls naturally in between his sentences. I have seen other lecturers attempt to try and come down to our level and try to be "one of the kids" or whatever it is they think they're doing, but so far I've only seen 2 lecturers succeed at truly being one of us. This is all due to the youth within them which influences their interactions with us :)

Moral of the story: Don't restrict youth to people younger than 35 years old!! Youth is there for everyone!! :)

Honesty

I am a true believer of the phrase "Honesty is the best policy". 

What? How shocking!

I hear you guys. It is shocking, and you guys will be even more shocked to find that I think this applies in every scenario. Even if it comes to you having to comment on your friend's ukulele prowess, where in truth there was not much prowess displayed during your friend's performance. Even if it comes to informing mom about who you are going out with, despite your mom not liking the particular friend(s) whom you are heading out with. I don't think lying our way out of difficult situations like these is the best solution. Tell the truth, or at least the part that you can afford to tell.

Let's come back to the first example. Your friend just played a song on the ukulele, and wants to know your opinion on how well they sounded. Unfortunately for you, if truth be told, your friend did not sound that good on the ukulele and could do with more practice. But still, there's the struggle to not hurt your friend's feelings as well, by telling them that they did not sound very good. I'm not saying you should be all blunt and brutally honest and say "Dude you sounded just terrible!". However, I don't think lying and saying they sounded good after all will solve the problem. Here is the reason why. Let's assume you are afraid to tell the truth and tell your friend that they sounded splendid on the ukulele. Your friend is emboldened by this praise and goes on to perform to some other people who aren't exactly the most tactful people around. As a result, they mock your friend's playing of the ukulele and your friend ends up hurt and broken. Painful, isn't it? Whereas, if you tactfully tell your friend something along the lines of "Some of it was pretty good, but I think with just a little practice, you'll be brilliant! :)" then your friend will practice more and improve themselves before performing in front of people, and hence may not have to face such hurtful comments.

There are plenty of examples I wanted to cover but honestly I don't think you guys will be thrilled to see an entire novella squeezed into a blog post so I'll try and wrap up :) Basically, do not ever think lying will get you out of trouble because it doesn't. Seriously. There is a saying that "telling one lie leads to more lies" and honestly I have seen it come true in my life before. Even if it is something unpleasant, just say it already! Don't be all two-faced and act all sugar and spice to people you do not like, and then talk bad stuff about them behind their backs :( I mean if you have a problem with someone, go take it out on the person who is actually being a problem to you instead of being cowardly and childish by just talking rumours and acting sad like you cannot do anything about it. The truth is that usually, there IS something you can do about any problem you face. You just have to be brave and face your problems head-on instead of hiding and inadvertently dropping hints with your ridiculous double-sided behaviour. Like, you ain't no double-sided tape to have a necessity to have two sides to you. Just say what you really think, even if it isn't very nice. People will (by and by) appreciate knowing what you really think, instead of having to try and see through your little facade.

If you didn't have the stamina to read this entire post, just have a look at the two words below:

BE REAL.

Gender Inequality and Mansplaining

I think it is safe to say one thing: that men believe they are far superior to women in many ways.

It is my opinion that the above statement is not entirely correct. Sure, we do have man-dominated industries, but I think in many ways women have risen and proven that they are equal, if not superior, to men. 

Think Margaret Thatcher, the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Think J K Rowling, who was the first person to become a $USD billionaire from writing books. Think Emma Watson, who started the HeForShe campaign to encourage men and boys to advocate gender equality at the age of 24. 

I feel that many societies tend to typically credit men for successes and blame women for failures. In societies where male babies are much preferred over female babies, people typically blame women for giving birth to a girl instead. Where is the logic here, guys? Let's just get scientific for a moment. Technically, when you compare sex chromosomes, it is a MALE who has one "X" chromosome and one "Y" chromosome, while a female has two "X" chromosomes. Hence, a female's DNA does not affect the gender of the child born, instead, it is the male's DNA which offers the variation in the child's gender. So why blame (and even punish) a woman for producing a child of the "wrong" gender when the variation is caused by a man in the first place?

Why is it when education opportunities are limited, the boys in the family get prioritised and sent to school first while girls are kept away from school? Why is it that in certain societies, if a husband dies, his wife is also burnt along with his dead body, while if a wife dies, the husband can simply remarry? Why is it that women are often blamed for becoming rape victims regardless of the (usually male) rapist's behaviour? Why is it usually tougher for a woman to get a rank promotion at her workplace? Why is it tougher for a woman to earn a salary equal to her male counterparts? Why does the world put down women so easily? Or rather, why are people allowed to put down women so easily? 

I have captioned the post "Gender Inequality and Mansplaining" for a reason. Above, I believe I have rambled long enough about gender inequality. Now I'll touch on the mansplaining. What IS mansplaining, you may ask. I know, your Oxford dictionary on your dusty bookshelf may not have the word listed, but mansplaining is defined as "to explain something to someone, typically a man to woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronising". This usually refers to a scenario where a man, who considers himself as more knowledgable than a woman simply because he is a man, talks down/over a woman trying to make a (usually valid) point about something. Sounds familiar? For some of you, it could be dad trying to win an argument/discussion with mom about something, where he resorts to using his masculinity to win the battle. For others, it could be your male boss trying to convince you that your male colleague is better suited for promotion, despite you being more qualified, hardworking and punctual than he. And of course, most of us would have watched Tiana (from Disney's Princess and the Frog) being "mansplained" to by the Fenner brothers as to why she should give up on buying her restaurant despite having the necessary money to buy it.

I am not here to hate on men and boys for all this gender inequality. I am here to encourage you guys to learn from these lessons of the past and work towards a brighter future. Fellas, try not to use the typical and much-overrated "I am better/stronger/smarter/etc because I am a man" excuse to win every argument. Instead, try and embrace your other positive characteristics! I'm quite certain that there's more to each of you than just being a man, right? :) You guys could have great attitudes, brilliant brains, amazing capabilities which came about because of who YOU are; because of your personalities. All this has nothing to do with being a man. It comes from within.

Ladies, keep your heads held up high! Next time someone tries to "mansplain" something to you, do not allow yourself to be convinced blindly and put your foot down! Have faith that you CAN achieve, because as of today, a generous number of women have proved to the world (and to themselves) that they are capable of great things. And so are you! NEVER give up in the face of gender-bias which is against your favour, but keep fighting until you get what you deserve. You are AMAZING!  You are talented, you are brilliant, and you have the potential to do something great and prove wrong everyone who ever doubted you!

Thanks for reading my first "original" post guys! :)

(Well the first two belong to me as well but they kind of appeared in my private instagram first?? Hehe.)