A Woman's Confidence in Herself

So I happened to be going through the different Snapchat channels today, and I came across this quote which really made me reflect.

To people who are very confident about themselves, this quote may come as a surprise. If any of you guys belong in that happy category, congratulations to you :) However, I'm sure most of us can relate to the quote above. While people do pass compliments very often, I feel like not everyone receiving those compliments know how to react to them. I myself have had those sort of moments, where I either stammer out a "thank you" which sounds half-hearted due to my nervousness, or I end up asking "really?" in disbelief, as if I think that the entire world is out to be sarcastic with me.

The question is, WHY do we get nervous when, after all, people complimenting us (genuinely anyway) are saying nice things about us? It should be something to feel happy about, in fact.

The answer to that bewildering question is quite simple. We're all afraid to wholeheartedly accept compliments or agree with them for fear of being viewed as vain or conceited. And who can blame us? Most of us tend to have a tendency to consider people to be a little bit "full of themselves" when they accept compliments happily. I myself am guilty of that too.

So how do we solve this problem? How do we accept compliments wholeheartedly and manage to not look conceited at the same time?

It all really lies in how we go about accepting the compliments, really. If you're going be all Mean Girl-y and say "I know I am! :D" with a proud smirk on your face when complimented, then don't be surprised if you get snubbed for being vain. I think the easiest way to accept compliments is to say "Thank You! :)" or some variation of that with a genuine smile. Show people that you appreciate their compliment! If you can, toss a compliment back to whoever compliments you too! That would really work in showing people that you care about other people and that basically you're not "full of yourself".

There's actually another interesting question to consider. Why reply to compliments anyway? If we're going to get judged for how we reply, then why bother replying? It doesn't matter.

Or does it?

To be honest, I think it is pretty important to reply to a compliment. After all, people just genuinely praised you / said something nice about you. And sometimes they do so with some serious feels, or just really do mean the compliment and want you to feel happy. Some of our quieter friends who get nervous speaking out in front of a big group of people might have even crept out of their comfort zone just to pay you that compliment. If that's the case, they might feel hurt, unappreciated or even offended (or some combination of these) when you don't show that you appreciate the compliment they just paid you.

If you are really tired / your mouth is full of food / you just can't talk or something, just give a bright, genuine smile to whoever compliments you. They'll understand. :)

Basically, to sum everything up, there's no need to feel guilty whenever people praise you for being intelligent / talented / beautiful / you :) Feel free to express your gratitude & appreciation, and don't hesitate to return the compliment when you can! :)

Have a great day guys! :)

Education: The True Takeaway

Here in Singapore, we are made to chase good grades for the vast majority of our schooling years.

In lower primary, we chased good grades to ensure that when it was time for banding (sorting into classes based on academic results), we would get into a "good class". In upper primary, we chased good grades to prepare for the PSLE, so that we could get good results and go off to a "good school".

In secondary school, we chased good grades so that we would have proper preparation to get "good results" in the 'N' Levels and 'O' Levels. Also in secondary school, we chased after a "good CCA grade" so that we would have a substantial testimonial and all when we graduated. And so on and so forth.

Schools were opened so that people may learn new skills and absorb knowledge which would aid them in later life. At least, I believe that was the initial motivation for schools being started in the first place. But in our chase for "good grades", "good schools" and "good CCA grades", how many of us actually internalise what we learn in school and take it away with us when we leave school?

There is no use in flawlessly memorising your Biology textbook if, 2 years down the road, you can't explain to your loved ones why their bodies function the way they do. There is no use in memorising an entire Literature text + the "ideal" explanations and analysis if, a few years later, you can't look at the situation around you and analyse why people are behaving the way they do. 

Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that there's no POINT in just focusing on getting your 'A's, 'A+'s and 'A1's. Of course, these good grades are very important when it comes to advancing to the next level of education, and as indicators of how well you seem to understand a subject. However, when you really sit down and think about it, your employers aren't going to give you that job just because you're a straight A student. Your future spouse isn't going to marry you just because every grade in your report book is an A1. The grades won't matter once you're done with school. 

Then what DOES matter?

What really matters, my dear humans, is whether we know how to apply what we've learnt in school, into the situations we face in our lives. It's whether you know how to explain to your cousin and his wife that it's perfectly normal for their son to have O+ blood while both of them have B+ blood running through their veins. It's whether you know how to analyse the articles and advertisements you come across; whether you can read between the lines to see what they really mean. It's whether you can speak your mother tongue well even though you have no more mother tongue lessons to go to. 

Application!!! Sounds simple but really, it is way more important than we all realise while we're chasing "good grades" like crazy people.

So take a deep breath, close your eyes, and contemplate how beautiful and complete your life would be if only you allowed your brain to embrace whatever you need to learn, instead of cramming content into your head with little understanding. Imagine how blessed you would feel if you could master the art of applying everything you've learnt in school (as seemingly irrelevant as some of the subjects may be) into your life after school. Imagine :) And work towards achieving that :) 

I did not write this post with the intent to convince anybody that getting good grades is not important. Go on chasing them good grades :) But now, remember that chasing good grades should never be your one and only obsession in school (or life, for that matter) and that sometimes its important to take a step back, make sure you understand what you're learning, and also *side note* make sure you don't lose your sense of morals and ethics in your chase for good grades. It never pays to give up on things like morals and ethics altogether. After all, we're human. We need them to help us get around, and get through life :) #mannersmatter

*P.S.: You may wonder why I did not explain further on the morals and ethics, but that would make this post too long for most busy souls :) I don't mind adding on though! Maybe after a while I'll either edit this post / write a whole new post (depending on the length).

Youth

What is YOUTH?

To some people, youth is 18 years of age, doomzi-ing the nights away in a club, getting high on drinks and stuff, and basically living the high life.

To other people, youth is having a voice not yet broken; a childhood not yet shattered, and adulthood not yet within reach.

What is youth to me?

To me, youth is believing that age is truly just a number which does not define us as people belonging to varying levels in society.

Youth is feeling blithe and cheerful always, and showing it in everything we do, from how we smile to how we speak :)

Youth is not in trying to blend in with the 18-year-olds, but instead in actually being one of them - at heart :)

Youth is being able to see the beauty and joy in the little things that matter :)

Youth is understanding that value does not lie in the years in our life, but in the life in our years instead :)

My perception of youth in this manner was shaped to a large extent by one of my lecturers (although he doesn't realise hehe). He's always smiling and cheerful, and naturally speaks using words that we use too, and treats us all like we're equals. No, he isn't a fresh graduate in his early 20s. He's actually old enough to be a father to children, the eldest of whom might possibly be approaching their 20s. But it's the little things that made me feel as though there's plenty of youth in him; the way he says a cheery, "Why late lah brother?" instead of a fierce "Why are you late?" to someone who enters class late; the way the word "legit" falls naturally in between his sentences. I have seen other lecturers attempt to try and come down to our level and try to be "one of the kids" or whatever it is they think they're doing, but so far I've only seen 2 lecturers succeed at truly being one of us. This is all due to the youth within them which influences their interactions with us :)

Moral of the story: Don't restrict youth to people younger than 35 years old!! Youth is there for everyone!! :)